Wednesday, 22 May 2013

"I wish I could share All the love that's in my heart..."

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

I present to you the Goddess herself, a true genius of modern time, the one... the only... Nina Simone...

"I Wish I Knew How it Would Feel to be Free" 

I wish I knew how
It would feel to be free
I wish I could break
All the chains holding me
I wish I could say
All the things that I should to say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole round world to hear

I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars
That keep us apart
I wish you could know
What it means to be me
Then you'd see and agree
Everyone should be free

I wish I could give
All I'm longin' to give
I wish I could live
Like I'm longin' to live
I wish I could do
All the things that I can do
Though I'm way overdue
I'd be starting anew.

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be
If I found out I could fly
I'd soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
And I sing 'cause I know

And some commentary:

After a really lovely time this morning on a trip with the Ross Spouse Org, I returned home sleepy but happy. Often when I go out for some time, chatting and playing, then return home, I like to do a little (let's call it) mindful check-in. I assess where I am, how I'm feeling, and see how I can help myself... you know soothe hunger with a papaya fruit smoothie, pet the kitten cause she's being super cute and cuddly, nothing too eccentric. Today, I came home and read this super sweet blog post by a fellow Sivananda teacher, Danielle Snoddy, and I felt inspired. Like Danielle, I felt that right now, in this present moment, I am a great path. Danielle opened up her heart to share, with humility and gratitude, how she is fulfilling her dharma. Then...doo dih doo... I scrolled through facebook and saw this youtube post of Nina Simone. More inspiration came. I thought, "Yeah, Nina, me too! I feel that." 

Combining an adventure to waterfalls, happiness from another's success, and this Nina song, I got to thinking: I have so much love in this little heart for everything and everyone. Although I work so hard to keep it very open, it often gets crushed. And despite my efforts, I cannot always say or do the things I want to do. Little things make me easily sad, not like emotional breakdown sad, just a disappointment kinda sad. And I get bummed when I cannot properly share what's in this mind and heart. I just want to give all my love to everyone and in everything I do. But when I can't for one reason or another, bars build up around my heart; I get stepped on or I let myself down, and then I become guarded. 

Building bars around our hearts keeps us more distant from others due to negative experiences in our past. When we dwell on these bad experiences and think about them in a continuing negative way, we not only harm ourselves but those around us. Why? Well, thoughts are powerful. They originate in the subtleness of our minds, and then actually take energetic forms. When we send out negative thoughts, we directly effect those we think of, as well as those in our relative space, of course not to mention ourselves. And in terms of thought forms, like attracts like. Wwhen we have "bad" thoughts we attract more of that... however, fortunately when we have good, happy thoughts, we attract more light and love in our lives and for those around us.

 I don't want to attract any dark thought clouds, life has enough challenges! I want to be free! So, in thanks for some profound inspiration, and in dedication to the grooviest Song Goddess of all time, Nina Simone:

Though I'm way overdue, I'm starting anew, I'm striving to do all those things I can do. I'm going to learn how it feels to be free. 

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